As Paul urges in 1 Corinthians 1:10, unity in Christ is important, but that does not mean every congregation or denomination is the right fit for every believer. Sometimes, personal growth, theological differences, or a sense of spiritual disconnect lead individuals to seek a new faith community where they can better connect with God and fellow believers. This lesson explores key signs that it may be time to leave a church, how to transition with grace, and the importance of maintaining love and unity in the body of Christ.

Key Concepts

1. Spiritual Growth and Belonging: A church should be a place of spiritual nourishment and community. If attending services feels like a chore or if you feel disconnected from the congregation, it may be a sign that God is calling you elsewhere.
2. Avoiding Contention and Spiritual Shaming: True faith communities invite people to Christ with love rather than using guilt, shame, or condemnation. If a church fosters an environment of division or judgment, it may hinder your spiritual growth.
3. Transitioning with Grace: Leaving a church should never be done in a spirit of contention. Instead, it should be approached with peace, gratitude for past experiences, and a willingness to build bridges rather than walls between different Christian communities.

Lo Here, and Lo There

I was answered that I must join none of them, for they were all wrong, and the personage who addressed me said that all their creeds were an abomination in His sight: that those professors were all corrupt; He said: They draw near to me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me; they teach for doctrines the commandments of men: having a form of godliness, but they deny the power thereof.” —Avahr 6:33-36

When Joseph Smith Jr. walked into the grove to pray, after reading James 1:5, he had a miraculous experience. We do not know exactly what occurred, but we do know that he had a revelation. The different versions of this vision or revelation may be studied in Appendix 1 of the Book of Avahr. The thing they all have in common is that he was told not to join any of the denominations he had explored. Why not? And does this revelation mean that all churches were evil? And if they were, are they still today?

Were their Creeds an Abomination?

Looking at the churches Joseph Smith Jr. encountered, we can see right off the bat the biggest problem:

…notwithstanding the great love which the converts to these different faiths expressed at the time of their conversion, and the great zeal manifested by the respective clergy, who were active in getting up and promoting this extraordinary scene of religious feeling, in order to have everybody converted, as they were pleased to call it, let them join what sect they pleased. Yet when the converts began to file off, some to one party and some to another, it was seen that the seemingly good feelings of both the priests and the converts were more pretended than real; for a scene of great confusion and bad feeling ensued, priest contending against priest and convert against convert; so that all their good feelings one for another, if they ever had any, were entirely lost in a strife of words and a contest about opinions.” —Avahr 4:14-17

While this fits well with Jesus’ disciples fighting with other followers of Jesus that were not with them in Mark 9:38, the Savior rebuked them:

But Jesus said, Forbid him not: for there is no man which shall do a miracle in my name, that can lightly speak evil of me. For he that is not against us is on our part. For whosoever shall give you a cup of water to drink in my name, because ye belong to Christ, verily I say unto you, he shall not lose his reward.” —Mark 9:39-41

And Mormon expands on this, asking us to seek unity, inviting one another to seek that which is good:

Wherefore, all things which are good cometh of God; and that which is evil cometh of the devil; for the devil is an enemy unto God, and fighteth against him continually, and inviteth and enticeth to sin and to do that which is evil continually. But behold, that which is of God inviteth and enticeth to do good continually; wherefore, everything which inviteth and enticeth to do good, and to love God, and to serve him is inspired of God… For behold, the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that they may know good from evil; wherefore, I show unto you the way to judge: For everything which inviteth to do good and to persuade to believe in Christ is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore, ye may know with a perfect knowledge, it is of God.” —Moroni 7:10-11, 13-15a [7:12-13, 15-16]

Notice he’s not calling us to a denomination but to a perspective, an outlook on life. What was the abomination then? The biggest one must be the spirit of strife and contention, spreading ill will rather than God’s love for our fellow men and women. They are drawing near with their lips, but with contention in them, their hearts were far from God. We must find the Christian perspective of unity regardless of denominations or theologies.

Denying the Power Thereof

The second thing we must look at is the power of God being denied. There have been many claims about what this means. The Book of Mormon is said to contain the everlasting gospel. Yet it doesn’t contain anything special the Bible doesn’t have. In fact, it quotes the Bible rather extensively. Do we really need another copy of Isaiah or Luke? The stories and commentaries on things in the Bible are wonderful, but did we need an ancient record for these? Many of the truths Lehi shares in 2 Nephi, for example, have existed for thousands of years in the teachings of Kabbalah. They aren’t new.

The power then must be something more than scholarly or intellectual wisdom. And we can discover what is meant be the Everlasting Gospel in the title page of the Book of Mormon:

…written by way of commandment, and also by the spirit of Prophesy and of Revelation. Written, and sealed up… to come forth by the gift and power of God unto the interpretation thereof …the interpretation thereof by the gift of God”

This then, from my perspective, is to say that the Everlasting Gospel is the Spirit of Prophecy and Revelation. The Book of Mormon was written by the Spirit of Prophecy and Revelation. It was divined or “translated” by the Spirit of Prophecy and Revelation. It can only be understood by the Spirit of Prophecy and Revelation. If the creeds of the churches in Joseph’s day were “corrupt” it might be because they rejected the Spirit of Prophecy and Revelation, creating man made creeds based on human wisdom, negotiation, and palatability for the masses.

Christianity Today

Looking at the Latter Day Saint movement today, things are not very dissimilar to Joseph’s time. While the Protestants have learned to get along better, we still see much “Lo here!” and “Lo there!” from the various Latter Day Saint denominations. In fact, if one looks at the temple lot in Missouri we can see many different Latter Day Saint buildings around the empty hole where the temple of God should be, resembling the Protestant churches across the street from one another in Palmyra, New York.

How do we become one? The answer lies in the question: How much are we resting on our theologies rather than turning to and teaching one another by the Spirit of Prophecy and Revelation? Community of Christ Doctrine and Covenants Section 162, and Section 163 teaches us much about being a people of the Spirit of Prophecy and Revelation.

Listen, O people of the Restoration—you who would become a prophetic people, embodying in your life together the ministries of the Temple. Listen to the Voice that speaks from beyond the farthest hills, from the infinite heavens above, and the vast seas below… As a prophetic people you are called, under the direction of the spiritual authorities and with the common consent of the people, to discern the divine will for your own time and in the places where you serve… the challenge before a prophetic people is to discern and pursue what matters most for the journey ahead.” —Doctrines of the Saints 2d:11, 18; 2e:75 (Comunity of Christ  Doctrine and Covenants 162:1a, 2c; 163:11b)

I will boldly declare that these revelations were not for Community of Christ alone, but for all of the Latter Day Saint movement; all of us in every denomination. We are the ones called today to bring the work of the Lord forward.

A Prophetic People

To continue the work of the restoration we must forgo our Egos and the mistakes of the past. If we are to be Israel, we must remember the four things the Lord has asked of us:

And thus, I shall ask of thee once again: Who is the House of Israel? Who are my Covenant Peoples? And behold, I say unto thee that these are the people of Israel: these are those of Yashar-El, the path Straight to God; these are those that shall seek my face, and turn not from me; these are they that shall taste the fruit of the Tree of Life, and it shall taste sweet, and these shall not turn away; these are they who shall love the Lord their God with all their hearts, minds, and strength, and this they shall show by their love for their fellow man, and their care for the Earth and her creatures. These are they that shall do my works, and shall bring to pass the oneness of the Heavens and the Earth; these are they that to whom I shall say: Well done, my good and faithful servants.” Doctrines of the Saints 2g:20-26

These are:

• All that walking the path of teshuvah to God
• All that seek the face of God, and will not turn from God
• All those that show their love for the Lord by their love for others
• All those that will do God’s works

Notice that God doesn’t say some of those, or those in one denomination or another, or only Latter Day Saints. God said, “they are those,” all of those. With this understanding, we must not fight one with another, but love each other in Christ. We must not fight over theologies, but respect our differences. We must learn to speak spirit to spirit one with another, by the Spirit of Prophecy and Revelation. And, if we can do these things, the Lord has told us that we will be the ones unto whom He will say, “Well done, my good and faithful servants.”

When is it Time to Leave Your Church?

Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment.” —Corinthians 1:10

The decision to leave a church or religious community is never an easy one. It requires deep reflection, prayer, and discernment. All Christian churches, sects, or denominations have one thing in common: faith in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. But once we get past this commonality, our shared religion begins to fracture. How then do we follow Paul’s advice that we “all speak the same thing?” (1 Corinthians 1:10). The answer is simple: the Lord has given us numerous congregations, sects, and denominations to choose from. The question isn’t about finding the one that is right, but the right one for you and your family.

Not every church is right for everyone, and that’s okay. While the Mormon Kabbalah generally tries to encourage people to stay in their home churches, this isn’t always practical. Hopefully this list will help you and your family see if/when it’s time to seek a new congregation that all may worship as one in Christ.

1. You Dread Going/Have Lost Passion

As a child, church may feel like a chore, but as an adult it should be a place of community. This isn’t to say that worship should be entertaining. Rather, as more mature Christians, we should find services edifying (See Acts 9:31, Ephesians 4:15-16, & 1 Thessalonians 5:11). Edifying here means it helps you to grow spiritually. A good book, conversation, or program can help you to grow intellectually. Worship services should feed your soul. If you and/or your family is attending a congregation where attendance has become more of a duty than a spiritual meal, it may be time to prayerfully look elsewhere for your spiritual needs.

2. You Feel Like You Don’t Belong

It’s okay to feel like a fish out of water in a new church or congregation. But once you’ve found your rhythm, that should go away. If it doesn’t, the question of why should be asked. Is it a cultural difference? A theological difference? Are people too cliquish? Something else? These may be superficial, yet relevant reasons to find a new church.

Maybe it’s something you cannot put your finger on, but it is there. That could be the Holy Spirit telling you that you are needed elsewhere (See Ephesians 2:10, 1 Peter 5:6-7, & 1 Nephi 1:65 [3:7]). This is a more difficult, but an important question to address nonetheless. Sometimes we just don’t feel like we fit in anywhere. Be sure to pray on this and see where God needs you.

3. Spiritual Shaming

While it is the job of religious leaders to, well… lead… people to Christ, there are good ways and bad ways to go about it. Spiritual shaming is one that hurts both those shamed and those observing the shaming. We can invite people to Christ, but after that we let God tell them what to do. As Joseph Smith Jr. said: “I teach them correct principles and they govern themselves” (quote traditionally attributed to Joseph Smith Jr.).

This doesn’t mean that just anything goes, but churches that openly attack others or groups of others in a blatant spirit of contention creates “enemies of righteousness” out of God’s children (See Proverbs 13:10, 1 Timothy 6:3-5, & 3 Nephi 5:30-31 [11:29-30]). While it is recommended that we reach out to leaders of such denominations and share our concerns, if the spirit of contention isn’t withdrawn, then it may be time to leave in peace.

4. Differing Theology

While it is true that we should avoid spiritual shaming, that doesn’t mean that everyone will agree with everyone on everything. In the Latter Day Saint movement marriage, sexuality, revelations, and even the nature of God are very heated and much debated topics. This is where theological differences (or better said, different opinions) may cause friction in a congregation. If the passion for these topics gets too high, one may be better served in Christ to love their neighbors and move on to another congregation (See Mark 9:38-41, Titus 3:9, & Moroni 7:2-18 [7:2-19]). This should not be done out of contempt, but in the spirit of love and unity. It is okay to agree to disagree on theologies.

What Not to Do

These four topics are merely the tip of the iceberg, but they are a good start if you are questioning leaving your current church. Remember what Mormon said to his son, Moroni:

Wherefore, I beseech of you, brethren, that ye should search diligently in the light of Christ, that ye may know good from evil; and if ye will lay hold upon every good thing and condemn it not, ye certainly will be a child of Christ.” —Moroni 7:18 [7:19]

If we feel the spiritual prompting to move to another church, we must do so in peace. We shouldn’t bring contention into a denomination as we are leaving it or take that contention with us into a new denomination. As Christians, we are bridge builders, not wall builders. We have been taught to love our enemies, and our brothers and sisters in Christ should never be seen as such (See Matthew 5:21-26, 43-48, & 3 Nephi 5:69-75, 89-92 [12:21-26, 43-48]). It we are to love our enemies, then surely we should love our fellow believers in Christ. When the Lord brings us to a new congregation, a new church, we should take the opportunity God has given us to share the good found in the places we have been, that we may all be one in Christ.

Discussion Questions

1. What role does a church community play in your personal spiritual journey?
2. Have you ever experienced spiritual shaming or theological conflict in a church setting? How did it affect your faith?
3. How can we discern whether dissatisfaction with a church is a sign to leave or an opportunity to grow in patience and understanding?
4. What are some ways to ensure that theological differences do not create unnecessary division among believers?
5. How can you leave a church community with grace while maintaining friendships and spiritual connections with those who remain?

Suggestions for Action

1. Reflect on your spiritual journey, take time to journal about your experiences in your current church. What is fulfilling? What is lacking? What does your ideal faith community look like, and how does it align with your spiritual needs?
2. Engage in prayer, meditation, and scripture study. Seek divine guidance on whether to stay or leave before removing yourself from your church community. Study scriptures related to unity, faith, and discernment. Ask yourself, “how do these scriptures apply to my situation?”
3. Have honest conversations. Speak with trusted friends, mentors, or church leaders about your concerns. Listen to their perspectives. Did these conversations confirm or challenge your thoughts about leaving?
4. Visit other churches. If you feel called to explore, visit other congregations with an open heart. Observe the worship, teachings, and sense of community. What did you learn from these visits? Did you feel spiritually nourished?
5. Make a transition plan. If you decide to leave, do so with gratitude. Write a letter of appreciation to your former congregation and ensure that your departure does not cause unnecessary conflict. If you decide to stay, make a list of reasons to revisit later. Write a letter to those you spoke to thank them for helping you in your journey. How can you carry the positive aspects of your past church experiences into your new faith journey, in your current church or out of it?

Final Thought Meditation

Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Imagine standing at a crossroads, with paths leading in different directions. Feel the presence of God beside you, gently guiding you forward.

Whether the path ahead is clear or uncertain, know that you are not walking it alone. Christ is the Good Shepherd, leading you to green pastures and still waters (Psalm 23:2). Let go of fear, embrace the journey, and trust that wherever He leads, it is for your spiritual growth and the strengthening of your faith.